finding joy in the hard times

I sit beside my classmates, waiting for this guy to do our chapel service. I gaze out the window, and see only a glimpse of light trying to break through the morning darkness. I just want this over with. So we can go back to class, and I can finish that essay I turned in late and ask someone for help on that one Latin sentence that I just can’t figure out.

It was just a normal day. Until…it wasn’t.

He walks to the front of the classroom with a hint of a smile and a cheerful good morning. My mind begins to wander until he asked a question I wasn’t really expecting: Is there such thing as joy in the midst of trials?

My day-dreaming train of thought comes to a halt as I ponder this inwardly.

“Will you turn to James with me, as we consider this question?” he said to us all.

I flip through pages old and worn with time, not knowing what would stare back at me from them. Will it hurt?, I think. Is this going to be another one of those times that the Word of God cuts into my soul, and I bleed pain and repentance and that need for unfailing grace?

Then he reads, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience…” (James 1:2-3)

And then he raises another question, “So, when you guys fall into trials, and difficult times, do you truly consider all of it joy, as you are being tested for your faith?”

Ouch.

Knowing my answer, I wilt a little inside, but trying not to show it so nobody can see the deep lines of pain and confusion written on my forehead.

And I bleed. I bleed from the wound of the Holy Spirit, who engraved this question deep into my innermost being in order to awaken my sleeping heart-fire for God.

And then our eyes meet. His blue eyes burn into my psyche, and that question just won’t go away, and, oh, God, I really can’t take this anymore. I want to have joy no matter what happens but I just can’t do it…on my own.

But neither could Job. Or Esther. Or Ruth. Or David. Or Mary.

And I just want to fall at His feet and wash them with my tears and wipe them with my hair and anoint them in fragrant oil.

 

I’m not writing this post to complain about my troubles, my trials, or my problems.

No.

I’m writing you this post to say to you, that, yes, joy IS possible. But not on your own.

There is only One who can give us lasting, satisfying, unwavering joy, even in the testing of our faith.
And that’s Jesus Christ. In Him is the fullness of joy.

I think sometimes we think that happiness is the most important thing in life. But it’s not. You see, happiness…is just an emotion.

Joy is a state of being. Even in hard times.

awkward and awesome

via

awkward

~ holding onto your mug then hitting a bump in the road and spilling hot coffee all over your hand. ouch.
~ when the driver of the truck stops at a stoplight so you try to take a quick drink of coffee and then just as you have it close to your face the truck starts moving again and (even more) hot coffee splashes in your face and spills all down your nice grey sweatshirt. and you might’ve choked on it too, but luckily started to cough it up everywhere because it scorched your entire mouth. ouch. again.
~ trying to run while wearing oversized chinks (and you’ve never worn them before)
~ trying to do your hair in a crowded truck
~ taking an awkwardly large bite of messy pizza and everyone is watching you
~ offering to pay for a drink someone’s getting for you and then realizing you don’t have any money
~ trying to find things to talk about with someone you just met
~ trying to squat with big boots on. and they might’ve been pretty new, too.
~ trying to saddle your horse when your fingers are cold and extremely stiff
~ when you’re riding and your saddle is lopsided and crooked
awesome

~ when you go to idaho again *insert happy dance*
~ learning how to drive a tractor
~ getting to ride EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
~ hugs
~ the above picture
~ hearing Rascal Flatts on the radio *insert another happy dance*
~ learning a ::wee:: bit of guitar
~ seeing some amazing sunrises
~ egg and bacon breakfast sandwiches and a cup of strong coffee. despite the two unlucky incidences above.
~ organizing ALL of the movies in your house
~ knowing how blessed you are with all the friends and family you have <3

What was awkward or awesome about your week?

a time for thanks-living

(the sunrise yesterday morning)

     Giving thanks isn’t just something we should save for a November craft. It should be the way we live.
   
      It’s been four months since I’ve been in Idaho, that time it changed my life (here). And I’m a different person because of it. I realize that even when our lives get so complicated and messy and it’s just too hard to breathe anymore, there’s always somewhere to go.
    
     And that’s when you saddle your horse and ride with the wind to a place where you can be alone with the Lord and His Creation. Could it get any better than that?
    
     So, for Thanksgiving, I went back to Idaho. To learn tons. To love more. To live simply.

     First, we filled our stomachs with savory turkey, and juicy ham, and casseroles, and fresh-as-a-daisy salads, and then we went and did some shooting.

 

(me shooting)

 

 (the card I shot three times (see I nipped it on the right side?)

 So what was your Thanksgiving like? What do you usually do?

a quick announcement...

     Guess what? I'm going to Idaho again! I'm sorry for the short notice, but I will be gone for six-ish days. If you haven't read my earlier post, I go there to my uncle's ranch to do cowgirl stuff. :)

     Wish me luck! And I will leave you with a Rascal Flatts song ::grin::

beautifully unashamed

     The only true beauty comes from Christ alone. But what does it mean to be beautifully unashamed?

     This is a video I found on one of my favorite blogs, Grace Full Mama. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! :)

    

Can’t see the video? Click here to watch.

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:6

“…always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.” 1 Peter 3:15

“So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like starts in the universe.” Philippians 2:15

“Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5


“What if the true motive of my life and my heart were to make God known for a few years on this earth?” -Jennie Allen, Anything

point of grace :)

     Point of Grace is my favorite Christian band. These songs have been playing on my ITunes ALL weekend!

      Who's your favorite band? Or what's your favorite song?

awkward and awesome

awkward:

~ when you’re sleeping and your arm falls asleep so you try to move your arm in a more comfortable position and your arm decides to wack you in the face instead

~ trying to dust when you’ve got a cold (*achoo!::cough::achoo!::cough::achoo!achoo!achoo!::cough,cough::achoo!*, etc)

~ when you’re drinking some water and the ice just suddenly attacks your face

~ going through a whole day without wearing your contacts

~ having to explain to people what courtship is in comparison to dating

~ when you’re a few minutes late for class and everyone’s staring at you like you just killed five people or something

~ when some guy at a store thinks you work there because you’re still in your school uniform and having to explain that you, in fact, DON’T work there but you can still help him anyway

~ when you have to clean some windows in your house, and you have to stand on the back of the couch to reach the top, because you’re so short. yup, that’s how we shorties rock and roll, people.

~ mouthwash-flavored nyquil. now that’s just awkward.

~ eating when your nose is stuffed up with a cold, so you can hardly taste anything

~ wearing jeans that are too big for you

awesome:

~ being sick with a cold but still being treated like a princess anyway

~ watching P&P for possibly the who-knows-what time

~ when you’re told that you should be Chuck Norris’s stunt double.

~ drinking coffee in the morning: coffee doesn’t ask silly questions. coffee understands.

~ learning how to edit pictures so they look nicer

~ realizing you’re going to Idaho again soon!

~ getting a three by five during deer season when you’ve only been hunting for three years. and you may have done a quiet little happy dance too

~ and when your awesome aunt comes to stay with you. and you may have done another happy dance too

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What’s awkward or awesome about your week?

the whole dealio about the hunger games...is it okay?

via

     For the longest time, I refused to read the HG series, despite the fact that it was "catching fire". I had read a Christian review by an author that I normally agree with on these kinds of things, and was persuaded out of it.

      But then, as you could probably guess, things changed.

      No, I did not read them just because they were popular. No, I did not read them because I decided to rebel against this author for some strange reason. Actually, I read them because I read a different review, a review which caught my eye and mind compared to a lot of other flimsy reviews.

      And that review is what this post is about.

      Since then, I've read other reviews that struck me as well. But I have neither the time nor the energy to post them all :)

      So I'll just show you this one *grin*

     

Dear Christian Media.

First of all, a disclaimer-- the movie/books are disturbing, and never pretend to be otherwise. They are not feel-good, happy movies in a Disney sense. What they do portray is a gritty, life-like battle between good and evil, between freedom and oppression. I left with a heavy feeling in my heart, like many of you, not because the movie/books glorified evil, but because it simultaneously showed it so plainly and yet so subtly for what it was. The violence was not gratuitous or gory-- they sought to show the horror of the Games without turning us into those voyeurs called Capitol citizens. The action is not fun or entertaining but sickening (and still without being over-the-top) and the violence is very tastefully handled.

The best way to get a feel for the redemptive values of the story and appreciate it for the phenomenon that it is is to read the books-- but I understand if you choose not too. I, too, put off reading them for some time after hearing them described as "the next Twilight" and very dark. But they are absolutely amazing for many reasons, mainly the impacting and haunting stories and messages that they carry.

They are a story of a girl who is motivated by love for her family and not lust for a boy to step into her sister's place and thus enter a gruesome parade that can end only in death. But she plays the game by her own rules, trying to save the life of a girl who reminds her of the sister she volunteered for and also the life of a boy who gave her bread and hope so long ago...

It's this boy, Peeta Mellark, who also seeks to play by his own rules, challenging the sick adherence to the Capitol's mindset and desiring to "still be me" even in death. To show them that he's more than just "a piece in their games." Not only that-- he has a deep, abiding, selfless love for Katniss and the moment his name is reaped, he chooses to save her life at the cost of his own, teaming up with the Careers to lead them away, fighting others so she can escape, and ready to give his life so that she can go home. 

Both admirable main characters comprehend and appreciate life's value, a thing which has been forgotten in Panem. And they both repeatedly put their own lives on the line to save others. Consider the contrast between the "Career pack" and Katniss and Peeta-- the Careers whooped and hollered as they found yet another tribute to slaughter and laughed at their distress. But when Katniss ran into Foxface in the woods, both run away rather than kill each other-- not from cowardice, but from humanity. Peeta would rather die than have any harm come to Katniss, and takes a serious wound to the leg to prevent her death.

What makes these books, even more than the movies, sheer genius, is that no one is perfect. Right and wrong are not clear-cut and black and white and utterly unambiguous, and the Capitol has to muddied purity that it is a constant struggle for Katniss to know what she should do.  Catching Fire is Katniss's search for peace and rest where there is none, and Mockingjay contains more grey areas than any book I have ever read.

The characters make frequent mistakes, but their intentions are consistently honorable and their greatest virtue is their courage. Courage to stand up to this government when no one else would. It takes a brave, strong, and intelligent young girl and an equally brave and intelligent boy with a tender heart to challenge President Snow and say, "I will not adhere to your rules, and I will not play this Game. I will not betray morality."

This is a story of hope and humanity that survives in a voyeuristic, all-too-familiar world. Even in this corrupt world that is completely controlled by an even more corrupt government, the characters, after grappling with the very meanings of good and evil and truth and error, make upright, noble decisions. 

And this is a story that is incredibly relevant in a world where reality TV and increasingly violent movies are called "entertainment" and more and more people gravitate to video games featuring torture and bloody killings. Didn't the Gamemakers-- those guys in white suits controlling the virtual panels that controlled the Games-- look like teens playing video games? The Hunger Games carries a subtle yet poignant and decidedly un-'preachy message that is direly necessary.  I agree that to bring children and undiscerning teens to this movie would be unwise, but isn't that true for every movie? This is a message that has long been necessary and has been previously pushed to the shadows by stories about wizards and vampires. But now Collins' powerful writing and compelling story have thrust them into the limelight, and we must take notice. Haven't we already seen a civilization flocking to worship their heroes and then throw them into a arena to fight to the death?

 History repeats itself. 

{from Because He Loves Me by AnnaKate}

So what do YOU think about the Hunger Games? 

focusing on what really matters

{my apple tree with my boy ruger in the background <3}

    I go through the day, rehearsing the words in my head, what I'll say when I get home with a cup of tea in one hand and typing up a post in another. I come home, set the kettle on the stove, and sit down at my computer, hands poised, about ready to let them fly.

     Then my name is called from the other room.

     In other words, life happens. And that's okay.

      I have a pile of papers on the counter, waiting patiently to be finished, my dog is barking and annoying the neighbors, my mom is telling me to put some clothes away, please, and, really, things get chaotic, my whole evening not going as planned.

     Lately, I've been thinking about this time of year. It's busy. Full of school, cooking, fundraising, preparing, tests, rainy weather, driver's permits, and the like.

     It's life.

      In the busy-ness and the hustle-and-bustle of daily life, it's been a fight to remember to focus on the things that really matter.

      Family. Family matters. Even when I'm rushing out the door to go to meetings and schools and have to remember to bring that envelope to Mr. Turner and feed the cat before I leave, I tend to forget.

       But I'm going to stop. With God's help, I will remember to spend time with the people who need my attention. As of now, I am quickly writing this as my mom is taking a shower and my dad is about to leave and I still don't have my lunch packed yet.

      So, my question is, will you join me?Join me in focusing on what really matters?